The Time Warp

I've been busy and pouting and sleep deprived.  This time changing stuff always messes me up.  It didn't feel as late as it was so I ended up going to bed after 6 am on Sunday morning.  Needless to say I was out of it on Sunday and then got my 2nd wind and stayed up until almost 5 am.  The only good thing about the change is that it is light later in the day so I can be out running errands and get home before dark since I can't drive in the dark any more.

This past weekend was a lonely one for me.  The Daddies were at a dog show and forgot to tell me that they were going.  They are usually good at it but didn't realize until later that they hadn't said anything.  So I was unprepared for being totally alone this weekend.  Luckily I had busy work to do.  I got one of the new websites completely up and built.  Yay me and it looks good, if I do say so myself.

It has taken me 3 days to write this so far.  I am so far into babygirl mode that it is making it hard to concentrate.

 *Wanders off*

My Favorite is #9!

Ok now three hours later, I'm determined to finish this post.  So back to my Daddies...They were gone for the weekend and even though they are back, they have a huge activism event they are handling so although I get to talk to them some, We have spent much time together this week.  Daddy H and I are fighting again.  I think he likes it when I fight with him, he said once it makes him horny.  That combined with the fact that I haven't been able to have a decent snuggle with Boss Daddy, has me in perpetual little mode..  I did get some clay work done in preparation for putting together some jewelry whenever the rest of the supplies get here but have not been able to do any real work.

Add the kids to all that too since it is spring break here this week and ...sighs.  I really need to find a way to buckle down and make some money this month.

Oh oh oh!  I did get one bit of decent news!  Boss Daddy is trying to get off for a weekend next month and maybe come visit me!  Yay!!  I hope he can make it work!

Ok excitement is over and I think I am ready for bed.

Smoochie is keeping the blankets warm...Not.

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C

I AM IN HERE...SOMEWHERE

I am down to half a dose of my Zoloft.  Been in a sort of haze the last few days.  Headache-y and unable to concentrate on anything for very long.  I just had a horrible thought.  What if it's not withdrawal but turns out to be a permanent thing because I'm not on the meds any more?  I haven't been able to do any appreciable work the last few days, even writing this blog is hard.

LOL. I started writing this 12 hours ago and then wandered away from it.

I had a melt down tonight.  It was a rough day, I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely.  Daddy H came online but when i tried to talk to him, he answered but you could tell he was distracted.  I decided to step outside my comfort zone and attend a discussion group in Second Life.  Well it wouldn't let me kn because I had too many scripts (for those that don't know, scripts are the coding that makes things do things and the more you have it causes lag)  I couldn't get them down low enough so I just left.  Tried Daddy H again but felt i got the brush off again.  So what do I do?  I yelled at him, stomped my feet and in no uncertain terms told him I was unhappy.  I was feeling about 3 years old.  Daddy R was working late and hadn't gotten home yet.   I was not a happy camper and was letting them know I wasn't.

Daddy R has actually taken over and he is boss now.  I can talk to Daddy H and snuggle but no playing (as in sex) with him.  Daddy R is mad because Daddy H keeps upsetting me and so he banned him from playing for now until he earns his way back.  He was not a happy camper but understood why and said he'd do the same if the tables were turned.  I told the two of them to work it out and let me know but don't put me in the middle.

Daddy R eventually came home and heard I was upset  so he came online.  We talked and he reminded me that he loved, wanted, needed and craved me (his words).  We discussed my issues and he assured me he wasn't any of the former men in my life and he wouldn't act like them  He reaffirmed that i was his and that he would be there for me and together we'd work through the fears and walls I have.  He also gave me homework.  I need to read and write a report about alternate natural methods to fight anxiety, then he kissed away the tears and said good night because he had to be up in 4 hours.

So here I am calmer and feeling a bit warm and fuzzy.  It is funny, daytime I can barely function but at night I have insomnia.  I sure hope this all goes away when I'm off the Zoloft for good.  I should be completely off in another 2 weeks or so.  I love my Daddies, both of them, but especially Daddy R.  I have never felt so loved and protected in my life.

I am going to watch a bit of my KDrama (Queen Class) and hopefully get tired enough to go to bed.  Can't wait to see Daddy again tomorrow!

Smoochie says he will introduce you to his new friend next time!

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C

GOING WITH THE FLOW

Poor Daddy is sick...again.  He was at the hospital last night.  I guess they have some nasty respiratory thing going around and he needed a breathing treatment.  They work him to death.  He never gets a chance just to rest and get well.  I did get to talk to him for a little bit today when he got home.  After that he said he was going to bed.

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day and the kids were out of school.  Their sister had bought them an annual pass for the aquarium for Christmas so we went to check it out..

It was really tiny but they had some interesting exhibits.  We love aquariums and visit as many as we can.  It made for a nice hour.  They just opened this one before Christmas so there are things still not there yet.  The seals (my son's favorite) and the otters won't be in until the spring, so we have those to look forward to.

I took some video before I ran out of memory on my card.  These are my absolute favorites, the moon jellies, and this is my favorite song in the whole world.



Afterwards they went shopping in the little gift shop there and spent some of the money they got for Christmas.  We got back to the car and they had a pressie for me!  Smoochie has a friend now although we haven't named him/her yet.

I spent the day working on some Ebay listings.  I found some old maternity clothes I had .  When  I sold the rest I made more than I paid for some of them, so I am hoping that will be the case here.  After that I have some clothes the kids grew out of.  Then I have a bunch of brand new, tags still on, plus size clothing I will go through and sell.

Right now though, this tired little girl is going to bed.

Smoochie and his friend wish you pleasant dreams!

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C