OH HAPPY DAY!

It can happen and it does.  Most things are pretty much the same as far as looking for a job and all but this post is about the one amazing thing that has changed!

Most of you know that I am in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship) with my Daddies.  We are not as long distance as a year ago when I was living in Arizona.  Now they are only about 5 hours away but it's still a good distance.

Daddy H and I have been together for over two years with a break of about 2.5 months in the middle.  Boss Daddy and I have only been together since February but we've known each other much longer than that.  Daddy H and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary of being friends and our one year anniversary of being back together last month.

Yesterday, for the very very first time ever, I got to meet Daddy H face to face!  I was so excited!  I wanted to go up the night before but he was getting in late and since I can't drive in the dark, he didn't want me waiting around for him in my car in a dark parking lot so we decided I should just drive up in the morning and we could spend the morning together before he had to attend his class,which is the reason he was in the area.

I left as soon as the sky started to lighten up but got caught in rush hour traffic and a trip that should have taken half an hour by Google map standards, so 20 minutes by my driving, ended up taking and hour and 15 min and I stressed most of the way!

I did get there though and got to look my Daddy in the eye!  I got to kiss him and hold him and feel the stubble on his cheek and smell him! Did I cry?  Do you even have to ask?  I cry at everything.  I cry when I'm sad and when I'm mad and when I'm happy so yes!  We had breakfast together and then got to snuggle and talk and I didn't want to leave.  He is everything I expected and more.

I did get a spanking because I had been bad the night before and started a fight with him.  Was my first ever since I was a child!  I learned something new about myself.  I liked the belt!  With his hand the impact is there and then gone but the belt after impact kind of caresses you as it is pulled back again and to me it was a very sensual feeling. *blushes*

Anyway I got off track.  I got to see my Daddy!  *Does the happy dance*  We had a chance to really bond.  My commitment is deeper now than ever and a lot of the fears I was dealing with are gone. I was so afraid he'd not like me once we met.  I'm neither young, nor beautiful and far from skinny or even pleasantly plump.  I had someone else in my life who did not like the fact that I wasn't skinny, even though I never hid that fact from him, so I was really scared to be rejected again.

Daddy H loves me just like I am!  I think we have a stronger bond now.  I got to look in his eyes and be in his arms when he said "I love you."  He said he was nervous too.  I don't know why, I would have loved him no matter what.

We got 3.5 hours together then it was time for him to go to class so we had to say good bye.  He hugged and kissed me and said, "don't you dare cry." He knows me too well.  I said I wouldn't till I got to my car and I was a good girl and didn't until I started the car then i cried all the way home.  Some happy tears, some very sad tears.  I don't know when I will get to see him again but hopefully it won't be too long.  *Screams and wiggles and does the happy dance again*

I got to see my DADDY!

Smoochie thinks I'm silly but he's secretly happy too!

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C

WHAT? WHERE? WHO AM I AGAIN?

Life has been so busy lately.  I mean to write then get sidetracked and when I realize I haven't posted I am too tired and go to bed.  I haven't forgotten this blog and I am sure I will get back to something regular soon.  Until then I will post when I can.

I am feeling especially spacey today.  A year ago, I was going through some very bad anxiety attacks.  You know that feeling you get in the back of your neck and head when you think you might have been caught doing something bad, like when a cop stops you and you wonder if you were speeding or you know you were?  I felt like that 100x over and all day.  It never let up.  I could see how people would want to kill themselves just to make it stop.  I finally went to the doctor and she put me on Zoloft.  The first 4 days kicked my butt.  I couldn't think, couldn't even wake up for the first two days.  I had to call the kids in sick on that Friday because I could not get behind the wheel of a car.  Luckily for me the next three days were a holiday weekend.  After that I thought things were fine.  the doctor told me to stay on it for at least a year and well, it's been a year.

Daddy and Master don't like drugs that mess with the mind and since I was thinking of going off of it anyway, I started to read about tapering off.  I realized I had all kinds of side effects but didn't attribute them to the Zoloft.  Weight gain, I thought it was just one of those cycles where I put on some pounds...ok it was quite a few,  m ore than 20.  My vision has gotten very bad.  I attributed that to old age and diabetes.  Now I read a lot of people have vision problems on this med.  Sometime I find myself at a loss for words or the correct word or I will think of something I need to do and turn to my laptop and poof, can't remember what it was I was doing.  This literally all happens within a split second.  It is time for me to come off the meds.

I only take 50 mg/day so last night I only took 3/4 of a dose and will do so for the next 5-7 days, then reduce it again.  So yeah spacey and tired today but feel like I need to write.

I am also procrastinating.  I got in trouble with Master last night for being impatient.  I can be infinitely patient, unless I am in little mode and guess where I was mentally yesterday?  So I got homework...poop.  I have to write a 500 word essay on why I am impatient.  He will grade me, 75% on content and 25% on grammar and spelling and stuff.  Well little me had to open her mouth.  After all writing is what I do, that and singing.  I said "no problem writing is one of the things I am good at.".  So then he says ok so if you get below 80 then you have to do it all again.  Not a problem right?  THEN he goes on...for every word under 500 I take off 2 points.  OK still not a problem, I can write over 500 words easy.  AND every word OVER 500 I take off 1 point.  Damn.

Master and I are getting very very close.  I am surprised at how fast and deep my feelings are for him.  I still love daddy very very much but Master is right there too and he seems to "get me" more.  He listens better, he is more attentive, I feel like I am one of his priorities.  With Daddy, between work, activism and his show dogs, I feel pushed aside sometimes.  All in all, that part of my life is going well right now.  Kind of spooky, like when does the bomb drop?  I am bad, I know.

I have a show coming up soon and then really do need to write that essay.  You all have a great day and thank you for sticking with me.!

Smoochie sends his love for a good week!

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C