Sunday, December 13, 2015

Words of Affirmation

So as I mentioned, one of the things Daddy and I are doing is reading the "Five Love Languages" together.  Well, I read and he listens then he comments and we talk about it.

The first chapter that begins to talk about the actual love languages is one on "Words of Affirmation".  This is Daddy's number one love language, something that I could have guessed on my own.  I was surprised it turned out to be one of mine too.

Many years ago when I took the test it was not the case.  My primary love language was quality time and touch then.  This time those two AND words of affirmation all scored the same.  I think because Daddy and I are long distance and much of our "together time" is spent online, in Second Life, and by text, that words have become so much more important to hear.  In that virtual world or even if we had been on a forum, if you don't talk you don't really "exist".  Text chat is the sole or primary method of communication. So anyway, this was a good chapter for us to start on.

Daddy and I had kind of stumbled on words of affirmation ourselves some months ago. We were having a bad day and all of a sudden he asks me, "Can you just say ONE thing that I am doing right?"  That made me take a mental step back.  I realized that even though he does good things for me every day, in the day to day I forget to tell him.  Bad babygirl!

There are numerous dialects under each love language, meaning there are many ways to express that particular language.  Compliments, encouraging words, kind words and humble words all fall under the language of Words of Affirmation.

Daddy and I have talked about  it and we need to not only remember to say all those good words to each other but also to stop the negative words.  We need to stop yelling at each other when we fight and calm down and listen to each other more.

Many months ago friend of mine, who is a Dom that I respect very much, suggested that we come up with a 2nd safe word.  This one was not for play time but specifically when we are arguing.  Either one of us can use it when we need the other to back off.  KOOLAID to us means to retreat to your corners for 10 minutes.  You can lie down, watch tv, play a game.  You just can't say anything to the other person for 10 minutes.

We both had a hard time even remembering to use it at first.  When we are going at it neither one of us wanted to stop what we were saying.  We are using it more but it is still hard to come to a complete stop sometimes, but we are getting better, kind of. *giggles*

We've also promised each other to stop swearing and using bad words TOWARDS each other.  That one will be easier for me since I only use one swear word with any regularity.  That word is "shit".  Daddy though brings out the potty mouth in me and I do drop a few F-bombs when we fight and I get extremely mad.  Only with him though.  Daddy on the other hand uses it regularly was part of his normal vocabulary.  He can say it any other time except when we are arguing, so we'll see how that goes.

Words of Affirmation.  We are using them more and looking forward to the next chapter.

All the things Daddy is!

Smoochie says you are all amazing and we thank you for stopping in!

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C


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