BIG NEWS

Yes I'm not doing very well keeping up.  Life has been so hectic.

The big news is that I have most of the money I need to move!  That is a load off stress of my shoulders.  I just need to stay afloat until mid November when I can vacate my current apartment.  It's not going to be an easy task but we will manage.

We moved here to the desert a couple of years ago.  I was with a man who wanted to retire here.  We split up soon after the move because of the lack of attention and his not caring about my sons's education.  We don't know anyone here.  We don't have family.  I don't have a job so no co-workers and because I can't drive at night and my kids go to school out of district, we don't get a chance to meet and connect with the other families.

I have recently become friends with a woman I met online and we have fun but she lives quite a bit away and we only get to see each other in a blue moon.

The move will mean a new life for us.  Jobs are supposedly plentiful where we are going and we already know people down there.  So I will have emergency contacts for the boys if I need them.  they will also make sure we get out now and then.  The music scene is awesome too and I'm hoping I can do a little something with my singing.  My boys are excited beyond belief.

I noticed the blog is getting away from its original purpose and that may be okay, but I still want it to be a place I can post and discover more about myself too.

I am finding the little in me popping up more and more.  In some ways it is nice.  Like when you go to Disneyland with a young child and see it through their eyes.  I see things differently sometimes.  I take more delight in the cute, pretty, beautiful and whimsical things.  I also find myself talking to myself often in my little voice.  Usually to ohhh and ahhh over some trinket or when I'm trying to find a solution to a problem and the later it gets, the more it happens.

(I can't get the pic to post and I'm too tired to figure it out tonight)

My need for attention has grown too.  I get lonely faster and cranky faster if I feel rejected.  Daddy H and I are still talking and feeling each other out but I don't think he understands yet how much I've changed and how to deal with it.  I don't know what it is about him  or about us.  I fight with him way more than anyone else.  With others I have always kept quiet and then when I'd had enough, we'd calmly talk about it and it was done.  Daddy H and I argue and fight and sometimes I get hysterical one him.  Only him.. ever.  Not sure if that means we shouldn't be togther or that he means more to me so the feelings are stronger.  I guess we will just have to wait and see.

It's late and I'd better try and get some sleep.

Smoochie says sweet dreams

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