I Just Want To Cry

I have a question for those "s-types" out there.  Babygirl, sub, slave...you know who you are.  Do you have a hard time saying no?  I don't mean to your Daddy or Dominant.  I don't even mean to strangers but to those you know, love and respect?

I seem to get myself into situations where I don't want to say no so agree to things I don't want to do or can't really afford.  Then I kick myself later and get a little resentful.  It stresses me out and makes me just want to put my head in the sand, so to speak.

I hate conflict.  It doesn't mean that I will not stick up for myself when it comes to strangers.  Even my Daddies know that when I am at the end of my rope I will get into a fight with them.  Lately I have been approached by a lot of men online.  These men call themselves daddies and try and call me little girl or baby girl.  My profiles clearly state that I am taken and happily.  To me it shows a lack of respect and quite a bit of arrogance on their part.

Today I told one, if you had any kind of respect at all you would have read my profile and known that I am already taken not available.  His answer?  "That takes too much time."  What? So I told him that he just proved how little respect he has for anyone but himself.

I know I shouldn't but this stresses me out too.  All these stresses add up to big ones and pretty soon I'm having a meltdown and don't even know why.

I need to remember this...chocolate cake please!

I used to be stronger.  When I was married my then-hubby was not a dominant in any sense of the word.  He could not make a decision to save his life.  If he started something it had to be perfect or he wouldn't do it.  He would fold a load of clothes, get 75% of the way done and decide he didn't want to fold any more.  So okay, leave the rest.  No.  The man would UNFOLD everything he'd already done so that he could claim he'd never started. Things would go undone for months, like the leak in the roof because he couldn't decide what needed to be done.  I learned to just step and be the boss.  I didn't want to be.  I hated every minute of it but if I didn't nothing got done.

Now I am the boss.  It is just me and the boys.  I hate it.  Sometimes you just want a good cry and to let someone else take over.  My little comes out more and more and having to do the big girl things stress me more and more.  This is starting to cause a little stress in my relationships with my Daddies.  Luckily for me, they have been understanding and extremely tolerant.  Daddy H especially has been very very loving and sweet.

Okay, I stayed up way too late again.

Smoochie blows you all a ni ni kiss.

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*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»   Baby C

"I Just Want To Cry" by Nicole Hart